How to Mentor

How to Mentor Teens

On a regular basis, this generation of young people is faced with things we could have never anticipated. The increasing level of influence society has on them is continually justified while the teenagers of today are slipping farther and farther out of the grasp of the church.

It is going to take concerned adults like you to rescue them from the clutches of the enemy that is luring them away ever so subtly. What can we do? What does this generation really need? This generation needs you. It needs you to be a mentor.

You may ask, “How can I do anything to help a teen? I don’t even know how to talk to them!” Believe it or not, teens are ready and waiting to get to know adults that care for them. Here are a few tips that you can use to get started.

Be real. If your life isn’t a cake walk, don’t pretend that it is. Show teens how to respond to difficult situations. Often, we feel pressured to act as if our life is perfect, making us seem incredibly un-relatable. Teens have an uncanny sense of knowing when you are being fake. If you are not real with them, they have no reason to be real with you. Teens can feel intimidated by people who seem perfect, but they are willing to open up to those who are transparent.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth; listen more than you talk. In his book, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey writes, “…unless I open up with you, unless you understand me and my unique situation and feelings, you won’t know how to advise or counsel me. What you say is good and fine, but it doesn’t quite pertain to me.”

It is easy to counsel through your own autobiography, forgetting that things today are not quite the same as when you were a teenager. In fact, each teenager’s story is different than your own. Learn to listen before telling them how it is.

Don’t pretend you have all of the answers. If you don’t know the answer, don’t allow yourself to be intimidated. Rather, find the answer together. Pray and search scripture together. Investigate the issue even further by reading a book together on the topic. The key is not knowing all the answers, but knowing how to find them

Walk the talk. Stephen Covey also writes, “The real key to your influence with me is your example, your actual conduct. Your example flows naturally out of your character or the kind of person you truly are—not what others say you are or what you may want me to think you are. It is evident in how I actually experience you.”

The way you privately and publicly live your life is the foundation of your influence on a young person. If the two contradict, then the relationship you are attempting to build will crumble. “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” (Mark 3:25)

Once you’ve identified someone to mentor, remember this: You can’t take someone anywhere that you haven’t been before. Don’t let that intimidate you, but let it encourage you to go places with the Lord you’ve never been before. Then, show them how to get there, too.


Additional resources:
Sound the BattleCry: Become a Mentor


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