Your Kids Trump Your Career and Ministry

By: Ron Luce

We were enjoying the first day of our one-week Florida getaway as a family. The kids were buzzing with all the fun we were going to have––from going to the beach to visiting Disney World. In the middle of the hotel lobby, I got a phone call from someone inviting me to come to a special meeting with him and the president of the United States, George W. Bush. While I listened to this call, I was looking at my family in the lobby, so excited about what we were planning to do. I told the person that I was in Florida on my family vacation. He said, “But Ron, this is a two-hour meeting with the president of the United States.” I said, “I know that, but I’m on my vacation with my family.” He repeated his last statement. After a few minutes of discourse, this very kind gentleman realized that nothing could dissuade me from spending time with my family, even a meeting with the President.

As I listened to what he was saying, I played in my mind the memory my kids would have and the message I would have sent them if I had given in to the desire to go meet with the president. Sure, my family would have forgiven me. Katie would have said “Sure, honey, you can go.” There may or may not have been another opportunity to meet with the president, but there would never be another opportunity to raise my kids. There would never be another opportunity for this vacation. I had one chance to leave an indelible mark in their mind of the value that I place on them.

When my wife told the kids that I chose to spend time with them over meeting with the president, there is no amount of preaching or saying “I love you” that could possibly compare with the value they felt at that moment.

All of us are busy people. If you have a career, are involved in ministry, or have a desire to succeed in some kind of endeavor, there are always going to be other things to do to keep you away from your kids. You have to make a decision in advance that your spouse and children are more important to you than your career and/or ministry. Period! When you make that decision, many other decisions will fall into place, including where you spend your time and invest your heart. When “opportunities” come up, your priorities are already set. You may think, I’ll get promoted if I make this presentation really good and work over the weekend. But you also know that it’s your son’s first T-Ball game. There will always be another opportunity for promotion, but there will never be another first T-ball game. If you are in ministry, there will be another TV appearance or great church to preach in, but you will never get a chance to raise your kids again.

It’s easy to think, If I put my family first, I am getting further behind; I have a list of things to do at my job (or ministry) that takes 24/7 to do. It really is a fallacy to think that way. In order to do your very best at your job or ministry, you need to be whole. If you are married, having a wholesome marriage will make you more successful than just being driven by your career. If you have children, being focused on your marriage and your children brings wholeness to your life so that when you put your game face on for work, you really are at 100 percent capacity rather than barely surviving from day to day.

Marrying Katie has truly saved my life. In order to have a balanced, wholesome marriage, I have learned that I’ve got to listen to her. I’ve learned how to say to myself, It’s time to shut work off and focus on her. When we decided to have children, we committed to spending the right amount of time with them. Family life has actually preserved my life and increased my chances of living a longer life because of the wholeness found in a relationship with my wife and children.

Don’t miss out on the experience of having your kids share something that enlightens you, or even rebukes you. They may show you a part of your personality that needs work. They will definitely give you joy. God brings our children into our life to make us the whole people we need to be to be effective in the world, period. We need to be careful that our drive to succeed in business and ministry does not justify neglecting or overlooking the precious young ones God has given us to raise.

This article was adapted from Ron’s lastest book, Re-Create: Building a Culture in Our Homes That Is Stronger Than the Culture Deceiving Our Kids.  Look for it at your nearest bookstore, or visit www.battlecry.com for more information.