If someone comes to you and tells you that they self-injury, it is important that you do not overreact to their confession in a way that will intensify their feelings of being rejected. They are people deeply hurting that may not know how to deal with their life problems. 

JUST LISTEN

Be a listener, because that is what they need the most. Hearing how someone hurts themselves can be shocking and disturbing, but do not let your personal reactions make them feel like less of a person. Look at the person in pain behind the injuries. The most precious thing you can offer them is a real extension of Christ’s love in the midst of their struggle. Let them know that you do not see them as weird or abnormal, but rather as a real person with real emotions. Let your friend know that you understand that self-injury has become a means to help him or her cope with their internal pain. He/She is not bad or crazy for doing it. They simply need assurance that things can get better and that there are other ways to deal with life’s problems without hurting themselves.

You could invite them to talk about their feelings by using some of the Action Plan Questions to help them think through the process and understand why they “cut.” Is it anger? Are they depressed? Do they feel like no one cares about them? Do they feel like they are bad people? Do they wonder where God is? At first, they may not have many answers to your questions because they have never thought about these things. Be encouraged! Progress is taking place if they are opening up to you and if you are listening to them. They are opening a doorway to their heart that might have been shut for a long time.

HOW TO CARRY YOURSELF

Be very careful to carry yourself with care and sensitivity, reflecting the love of Christ. If the situation allows, consider letting them know that you want to listen more and invite them to youth group, church, prayer gatherings, etc. Help them through the process as much as you can, and be willing to discuss a referral to a Christian professional for more help. Explain that you are not giving up on them or “passing them on” to someone else. Rather, tell them that you want to help them by building a solid support system to join you in the effort of securing their freedom from cutting.

Keep in mind that walking through this journey may be a longer process for some and not just an overnight recovery. We do not limit Christ’s power by saying this. If God chooses to take them through a process instead of providing instant healing, then we are to be there for them to be His extension of love and patience. Help them stay strong and never give up as God never gives up on us. Pray with them, encourage them, praise them, support them, and speak life into them, for He already took our sorrow, pain, and punishment to the cross and He has set us free. Above all and through it all, let them see Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)!

"WHO AM I IN CHRIST" SCRIPTURE LIST

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