STEP #1: ACKNOWLEDGE CHRIST AS YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF HELP THROUGH:

• Prayer
• Scripture study and meditation (See “Who I am in Christ” Scripture list)
• Church fellowship

STEP #2: DECIDE TO CHANGE YOUR WAY OF COPING

Unless God does a miracle, it would be unrealistic to expect to change your habit in one day. God is well able and powerful enough to do so if He wants to, but there are times when He chooses to take a person through the “process” of change. One thing is certain according to Romans 6:18: As believers, He has set us free! The problem is that we have allowed the circumstances of our environment (problems) to take control of our minds. We begin to live life through our feelings instead of the spirit God has put in us. But, you CAN change.

STEP #3: DECIDE TO BE HONEST WITH SOMEONE TRUSTWORTHY

Talk to them and set up accountability.

If you go to someone and talk about the urge you get before you cut, it will help you reduce the distress you may be experiencing at the moment. Therefore, begin to build a network of godly friends that you can be honest with. They will support you during the difficult times. Above all, know that God is always there for you.

STEP #4: SET UP ACCOUNTABILITY

As you build your network of friends, you will need to help them help you by instructing them on what you expect from them and how they can be supportive for you. If you only want them to lend a listening ear to help you process what you are thinking and feeling, then you will have to let them know. If you want them to ask you specific questions when they see you, then tell them what questions you want them to ask. If you want them to pray for you, simply request it. If you need someone to be with you during the moments of “temptation,” let them know in advance so that they can know what to expect and how to help.

As you build this network of friends, remember that this is a battle that you can only win with the help of Christ. It is good to have friends that will help with emotional support, but you should not place all of your hope on them. Your full dependency should be on Christ alone. The body of Christ is available to pray with, confide in, and fellowship with, but remind yourself that they are not your Savior. They are there to support you and help you through this difficult time in life. Jesus is the one who will give you the strength you need.

STEP #5: PUT NEW SKILLS INTO PRACTICE

In the past, whenever you felt the overwhelming sense of life’s problems, you may have dealt with them through cutting. If you want to stop hurting yourself, it will be vital for you to start practicing new coping skills to overcome the urge to injure yourself.

The following list of suggestions might help you to overcome that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful for everyone, as not all battles will be the same. So, what is helpful for one person may not necessarily be helpful for someone else.

Review the options below with your accountability partner or support team and discuss which ones may be helpful for you. If you identify a suggestion that actually tempts you rather than helps you, do NOT use that suggestion. Keep in mind that these are only suggestions.

Ask the Lord to help you through this process and ask Him for supernatural wisdom to help you come up with your own new skills to help you overcome times of temptation. The more you say “no,” the more you will be satisfied with life through the spirit of God living in you.

NEW SKILLS TO REPLACE SELF-INJURY

• Pull out your memory verses, read them, and meditate on what they are saying.
• Remind yourself that the moment is like a “wave.” It will come, but it will also pass. Just hold on through the temptation.
• Practice deep breathing (take a deep breath breath, hold it, and exhale…ten times).
• Try relaxation techniques by tensing your body muscles for 8 seconds, then relaxing them for 15. Repeat the exercise in group rotations (legs, arms, upper body). You gain the most from this technique when you incorporate it with scripture meditation.
• Call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line for help.
• Try not be alone when you are fighting an urge (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.).
• Take a hot bath to help you relax.
• Listen to music that you enjoy or relaxes you.
• Go for a walk (leave any objects behind).
• Write in a journal. (Express your anger, anxiety, stress, etc. Explore for your trigger points. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what is causing you to be tempted to bring harm to yourself.)
• Exercise for at least 20 minutes (run, fast-walk, aerobic or anaerobic exercises).
• Avoid temptation (i.e. avoid the area where cutting objects are kept, etc.).
• If the temptation is the result of an emotional conflict with someone, challenge yourself to approach them in a healthy way by making your feelings known instead of keeping them inside. Ask if they have time to talk and let them know what troubled you and how you think things can be improved.
• Yell into a pillow how you “feel,” but follow up with scriptures from the “Who I am in Christ” list to remind yourself of the truth. Remember, we are not to be ruled by our feelings. We must rule our feelings with the Word of Truth.
• Go outside and practice breathing techniques (10 big breaths, inhale/exhale).
• Take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension).
• Work with paint, clay, play dough, etc., and try to make a sculpture of the tension you are experiencing. It can help you put your words together and give you an idea of what might be the cause of your underlying pain. Surrender what you learn to the Lord and continue to look for the truth in His Word.
• Draw a picture of what be making you angry, then pray over that situation and begin to walk towards forgiveness.
• Instead of harming yourself, remind yourself that you are God’s temple and that He esteems you. You therefore deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect. (Speak God’s Word over yourself!)
• Go to church to worship and fellowship with others.
• Break the object that you use to self-injure to show that you have control over it and that it does not have control over you.
• If you are harboring unforgiveness or hidden anger towards someone that hurt you a great deal, try writing a letter to that person to express how they made you feel and how they affected your life. Tell them that despite anything they have done, you have chosen to forgive them. These letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to cover your hurt. Instead, it is a chance express what you feel in writing. You do not have to give your letter to anyone, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you have been carrying inside. After you write the letter(s), you can decide what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters helps (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, bury it, burn it, etc.). But, it is important that before you destroy it, you go before the Lord in prayer and present the letters to Him as an act of surrendering unforgiveness to Him and declaring your new choice to forgive daily.
• Do some household chores (i.e. cleaning, working on the yard, washing the car, etc.) to get your mind off of the urges until the “wave” of temptation goes away.
• Do some cooking or baking. Be creative and invite some friends over.
• Recite a poem, prayer, or anything else familiar that comforts you, even multiple times.
• Write down all of your positive attributes and why you do not deserve to be hurt. Remind yourself about what the Word of God says about you (see “Who I am in Christ” Scripture list).
• In your journal, write why you want to hurt yourself, and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so that in the future you can prevent it from happening again. (Find out what your triggers points are. Where and how does the enemy trick you into falling? What thoughts or mental whispers do you hear during these times of temptation? Write them down and you’ll begin to see the strategy the enemy uses against you.)
• Scripture meditation. Memorize the Word of God (see “Who I am in Christ” Scripture list).
• Allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can promote healing. It allows the inside to release without self-abuse. Picture your "hurts" pouring out as you cry before the Lord.
• Take a shower.
• Sing a song or write out what you are feeling as a prayer to God. Let the words just come out of you. The book of Psalms has plenty of great examples of this.
• Make a list of reasons for why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also, remember to put the fact that you do not deserve to hurt yourself on that list. You are important, significant, and you do not deserve to be hurt.

A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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